Ok ok ok....
I finally got the tickles and giggles for someone. He's funny, talented, fun and I just want to be around him all the time. I mean he is adorable and has the prettiest eyes. But do I have the money to write that check? I've been thinking of him all day.
I also don't want to feel like I am hemming someone up. Which in reality , if they are for "courting" they are exclusive to you and I think he likes his freedom and I can totally respect that. I respect him alot and wouldn't want to push it.
I guess I'll pine from afar until I get the courage to tell him.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Friday, March 4, 2011
Shoo dee bop - hee haw
I realized that after singing the Dixie Chicks , how much I miss Texas. I mean I really do, wide open spaces , friendly folks and all that. Man shoot pickens poop.
Oh and I saw some cute guy that looked like Dashboard Confessional last night, but he ain't no Hank honey.
Oh and I saw some cute guy that looked like Dashboard Confessional last night, but he ain't no Hank honey.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
The Theatrics of Love , why do you harlequin me?
Well here we go again. I am proactive about everything in my life except......................Putting myself out there for potential mateage. (Is mateage a word?.....not sure )
So, being surrounded by guys almost half my age doesn't help. In this town, where do all of the "ELIGIBLE" (that was for you Caroline Allen) guys ages 24-35 hang out , that doesn't need me to wear a boob billboard and that I can have a decent conversation about transhumanism and the singularity .
Tee Hee, it's all good. I've been proactively "waiting" and that hasn't gotten anywhere. Oh well, meh bleh blah.
So, being surrounded by guys almost half my age doesn't help. In this town, where do all of the "ELIGIBLE" (that was for you Caroline Allen) guys ages 24-35 hang out , that doesn't need me to wear a boob billboard and that I can have a decent conversation about transhumanism and the singularity .
Tee Hee, it's all good. I've been proactively "waiting" and that hasn't gotten anywhere. Oh well, meh bleh blah.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Saturday, February 5, 2011
I want to be in love and I want it to mean something
Your eyes are the door to my heart
I see my reflection in every move you make
Melded together but seperately identifiable
The thought of you sends me spinning out of control
And yet that same thought has me calm and in peace, an undisturbed composure
My eyes ask and you react appropriately
My mind speaks and you listen and answer wisely
Can I ever understand this feeling you give me
A driven drive that leads me to insanity
A Parable told that can not be figured out
In it's purest form it can lead to great freedom
In it's unbridaled ways, it's an unquenchable fire
I don't want to put you out
I want to be in love. I can't remember that last time I was in love. Not my work a holic love. (what can I say , I love what and love work I love to do) Not the love of classic cars , cowboy boot, Frye's and jeans with a white button down shirt, not the love I have for all shades of blue, not the love for my children, but a love that is exchanged with a gaze that makes your heart beat faster. It makes you grin uncontrollably and it makes you do the dumbest things in your eyes.
The kind of love in which you surrender yourself and compromise for someone else. I don't mean losing who you are, but gaining and learning more about who you are. What do I mean (explaining for the hard core independent women) You see, in love, even in friendship, you should honor, revere and expressively show how you feel about the other person. Love my friends is an action. It is what you are compelled to do for another even if it means turning away from them with prayerful hopes that they will come to a realization.
Love is the past , present and future catalyst of the relationship. Love requires seeding, fertilization , watering and constant tending that is never a chore . Love is mutual respect and honor. I would love to be with a guy I respect . That I know I could go to war with and either one of us will fireman's carry the other to safety and go back for our comrads.
What happened to that? I know it exists outside of myself otherwise I wouldn't feel or desire it. I know in a world of twisted images we are spoon fed from birth that there is the truth .
The Truth is Out There
-End X files theme music-
I see my reflection in every move you make
Melded together but seperately identifiable
The thought of you sends me spinning out of control
And yet that same thought has me calm and in peace, an undisturbed composure
My eyes ask and you react appropriately
My mind speaks and you listen and answer wisely
Can I ever understand this feeling you give me
A driven drive that leads me to insanity
A Parable told that can not be figured out
In it's purest form it can lead to great freedom
In it's unbridaled ways, it's an unquenchable fire
I don't want to put you out
I want to be in love. I can't remember that last time I was in love. Not my work a holic love. (what can I say , I love what and love work I love to do) Not the love of classic cars , cowboy boot, Frye's and jeans with a white button down shirt, not the love I have for all shades of blue, not the love for my children, but a love that is exchanged with a gaze that makes your heart beat faster. It makes you grin uncontrollably and it makes you do the dumbest things in your eyes.
The kind of love in which you surrender yourself and compromise for someone else. I don't mean losing who you are, but gaining and learning more about who you are. What do I mean (explaining for the hard core independent women) You see, in love, even in friendship, you should honor, revere and expressively show how you feel about the other person. Love my friends is an action. It is what you are compelled to do for another even if it means turning away from them with prayerful hopes that they will come to a realization.
Love is the past , present and future catalyst of the relationship. Love requires seeding, fertilization , watering and constant tending that is never a chore . Love is mutual respect and honor. I would love to be with a guy I respect . That I know I could go to war with and either one of us will fireman's carry the other to safety and go back for our comrads.
What happened to that? I know it exists outside of myself otherwise I wouldn't feel or desire it. I know in a world of twisted images we are spoon fed from birth that there is the truth .
The Truth is Out There
-End X files theme music-
Ahhhh here we are again my friends. It's Mid-terms for me as well as busy busy busy with other things. I've been thinking alot lately and looking over my life, which for the most part was pretty good. I've made mistakes , some of which have gotten lost in the life shuffle, took some time for me to "learn from them". Along my path I've discovered things about myself that I like and don't like and have decided to be the "Naked Archealogist" and unearth those things , dust them off , examine them and put them away.
Here I am , about to turn 35 years old. When I look at the number I am like, WTFP (what the fudgepops) I'm still young, very young since the life expectancy is actually going to like 100 now, so that makes me15 years to half way there.
My point , people say don't judge her , don't say she's a slut, don't judge him and say he's gay because he wears fab clothes and has arched eyebrows, don't say they will never amount to anything because they came from the wrong side of town. don't judge her because she wears a Hijab she doesn't have a bomb, and don't think that because he's black he's 50 Cent worthy .
So why do people judge me because of my age? Or tell me what I can and can not do because of my age.
Age is just a wall to climb over.
Age is an obstacle that will be overcome
Age is wisdom in knowledge of life
Age is beautiful because you grow with the world around you
Age is a mechanism to humbleness
Age is not a crutch nor an excuse
Age makes me appreciate my mortality
Age reflects the number of years it takes for blind eyes to open
Oh well whatever....... But here's some really cool info!!
www.antiaging-systems.com/ARTICLE.../melatonin-pineal-gland.htm
http://www.therubins.com/aging/proc4.htm
www.antiaging-consultants.us/biologicalage.html
www.healthreviser.com/.../biological-aging-process-not-fixed
www.healthfully.org/health/id18.html
www.healthtopics.ca/.../longevity-anti-aging-–-get-your-biological-age-off-the-freeway/
Here I am , about to turn 35 years old. When I look at the number I am like, WTFP (what the fudgepops) I'm still young, very young since the life expectancy is actually going to like 100 now, so that makes me15 years to half way there.
My point , people say don't judge her , don't say she's a slut, don't judge him and say he's gay because he wears fab clothes and has arched eyebrows, don't say they will never amount to anything because they came from the wrong side of town. don't judge her because she wears a Hijab she doesn't have a bomb, and don't think that because he's black he's 50 Cent worthy .
So why do people judge me because of my age? Or tell me what I can and can not do because of my age.
Age is just a wall to climb over.
Age is an obstacle that will be overcome
Age is wisdom in knowledge of life
Age is beautiful because you grow with the world around you
Age is a mechanism to humbleness
Age is not a crutch nor an excuse
Age makes me appreciate my mortality
Age reflects the number of years it takes for blind eyes to open
Oh well whatever....... But here's some really cool info!!
www.antiaging-systems.com/ARTICLE.../melatonin-pineal-gland.htm
http://www.therubins.com/aging/proc4.htm
www.antiaging-consultants.us/biologicalage.html
www.healthreviser.com/.../biological-aging-process-not-fixed
www.healthfully.org/health/id18.html
www.healthtopics.ca/.../longevity-anti-aging-–-get-your-biological-age-off-the-freeway/
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Film school , Farts and phlanthropy
I am attending the Film Institute at this really cool college. My teacher is pretty cool, I dig her style and the vibe she has. It's like she is trying to bring back the old school way but in a fresh new sense of vision. I really hope to capture that as well and get my own vision or expression of how to film.
As far as love goes, I think Cupid farted on me and left some smelly love gas that repels people..jk . I like someone but I am at a stage where I want to run, Normally I do this when it gets way to deep or it's about to. He's a good guy, I have a guy feeling though he has a "collective" and is still probably trying to figure things out himself. SO I want to give him space but how much? I am real quick so sever relationships and move on, only to find out things weren't like how I thought they were at all , and I should've waited.
Anyway, whoever he chooses to be with better to realize the gifts in him and the prize he is. He is a great guy overall. I hope I have the opportunity to grow with him because face it , no matter how old you get you are always learning , always growing , you'll never have it down because things change and I want to eb with the flow ...lol
Oh well, hey regardless I am grateful to have known him. This isn't a good bye letter , it's just a hey man you know I like you , I'll give you space but don't let me fade away while I'm waiting...
As far as love goes, I think Cupid farted on me and left some smelly love gas that repels people..jk . I like someone but I am at a stage where I want to run, Normally I do this when it gets way to deep or it's about to. He's a good guy, I have a guy feeling though he has a "collective" and is still probably trying to figure things out himself. SO I want to give him space but how much? I am real quick so sever relationships and move on, only to find out things weren't like how I thought they were at all , and I should've waited.
Anyway, whoever he chooses to be with better to realize the gifts in him and the prize he is. He is a great guy overall. I hope I have the opportunity to grow with him because face it , no matter how old you get you are always learning , always growing , you'll never have it down because things change and I want to eb with the flow ...lol
Oh well, hey regardless I am grateful to have known him. This isn't a good bye letter , it's just a hey man you know I like you , I'll give you space but don't let me fade away while I'm waiting...
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